his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
