Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
