i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize