I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
