no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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