but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
