one two three fourrrrnication!
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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