spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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