Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
