Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
