when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
