I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
