Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
