Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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