when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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