Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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