you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This is the high leading the old right now
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
