I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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