those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
