hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
