surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
