Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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