Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
