We named our party play list daddy issues
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
