Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i think my mom watched the whole time
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
