3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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