i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
