this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
