I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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