real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
