I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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