You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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