You did not just play the dead husband card again.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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