Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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