Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
They have beer where we have blood.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
