If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
