I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
