I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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