everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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