Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Randomize