Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
