Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
