Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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