do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
