Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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