i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
