Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Randomize
