two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
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