i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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