Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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