Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize