uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
