Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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