What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
