HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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