i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
