well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
