So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is Oprah even human
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
