A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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